In the Niagara Region of St.Catharines Ontario Canada Tommy Frew wanted to follow in the footsteps of his hockey hero, Wayne Gretzky, and someday play in the National Hockey League. According to the ‘experts’, Frew was too old to begin, something he would be told his whole life.
“Dreams always happen at the perfect time and age, they are meant for us to take ownership; dreams have no impairments or disabilities nor do they discriminate; The journey of the dream starts with a courageous choice followed by a leap of faith as there is never a guarantee. The more you follow it the more clearly your vision becomes…
Frew started turning heads at the age of 14 displaying the puck-handling skills, coordination and exceptional skating ability of a supposed “natural” all while being visually impaired.
Despite missing a full year of hockey when he was 15, Tommy’s skills were being compared to the best junior hockey players in the world.
By the time he turned 17, his break followed when he signed on with the Burlington Cougars of the Central Junior ‘A’ League, a team that catered to those players who were targeting NCAA school hockey teams rather than playing in the Ontario Hockey League. As far as hockey careers go, the young “prodigy” was given a second chance, stamping his own ticket to the big leagues.
After a horrible start to the year something was wrong with him physically and mentally. Epstein Barr Virus took him out of the game and kept him there for three long years as his spleen was too enlarged to play, even worse than his physical setbacks was his mental health anguish; Tommy was too ashamed to ask for help.
Still, Tommy fought hard to keep his dream alive.
He attempted to return to the game at age 20 by going to 7 different teams in Europe and didn’t play a single game... He returned home from Europe a failed athlete but worst of all, he had lost his way in life. Frew became bed ridden with depression, lost all hope, and most all, his will to live.
Frew was diagnosed with anxiety, severe depression, and obsessive compulsive disorder and told he would never play professional hockey again; his final 3 games were just after his 17th birthday.
I remember not knowing what to do
"So I registered for half a credit in a course at Brock University. “The days I did find strength were few and far between; I would collapse at this rock or sit in the parking lot in panic ruminating...”
I. didn’t. belong.
Frew made it to only one lecture that year, and heard a professor speak with words so inspiring he decided to confide in him. Frew never made it to another class. The professor called him one day concerned about his well ~ being; as Frew was bedridden and debilitated.
Frew, still suffering the darkness of depression and mental health, didn’t even realize the deterioration of his eyesight. Now, legally blind in his left eye, specialists were baffled that he ever played hockey. It was clear to the “experts”; his dream was over!
Still struggling in University trying to find his way and terrified of the unknown; his best friend convinced Frew to come back to his dream; using the journey back as a guide for meaning and purpose. Frew responded, "I’M TOO OLD"
He was 26
“There is nothing worse than the black hole of depression; it forced me to take a chance on myself; I was already dead inside, Why not start to LIVE!”
Frew was so afraid to return to the ice he couldn’t even go public skating. Day after day, month after month he remained deflated and ashamed of his failures. paralyzed by fear and taken prisoner by his own thoughts… Frew quit or so he thought.
One day, Frew remembered what his friend said “use your dream as a guide to find meaning and purpose”. What if he could use his dream for something greater than just himself; Frew found teaching and more importantly he found his courage thanks to his future students. Despite all his seemingly impossible circumstances…
Frew graduated with a Masters Degree. For the next five years with old broken sticks and improper skates; he left his house at 3:30 am in the cold winter dark driving 45 minutes to train alone in a dark desolate arena. One inspired writer would later dub him “The Rocky of Hockey,” and it was clear why.
Year after year, Frew faced the darkness of his depression just showing up often in small town arenas, long after the crowds had gone and the lights had dimmed, a solitary figure alone with his dream.
After playing in a Team Canada Charity tournament which his hero Wayne Gretzky played in. With no real training, improper equipment and coming off a disappointing pro attempt, he took another leap of faith and faced his fears.
He impressed enough of the NHL’s elite, but was still disappointed with his performance, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. He still let fear and anxiety paralyze him on the ice. Finally, Frew courageously asked for help.
Thanks to the expertise of Doctors Max Offenburger and Sam Klarreich, Frew’s philosophy started to change not only to the game of hockey but more importantly the game of life.
As discussions got underway to see where Frew might be able to play, medical complications arose yet again, diagnoses were uncertain, and countless surgeries would follow as specialists suggested he may have to be admitted to the Mayo Clinic… Frew was finally diagnosed with a rare form of autoimmune disorder that left him visually impaired growing up, his organs compromised, and now he is hearing impaired.
In his 46th year this unknown to the hockey world has not played a game in 3 decades and has trained his whole life to play one game in the National Hockey League.
“I am a very flawed man, was ashamed of who he was, suffering depression forced me to rise up and fight for something greater than myself. Each time I broke, my dream saved me, providing me with hope and a beacon of light to keep on and fight through the dark. Just in that simple act of getting up; I found my freedom.
I had no special training, only special people, help guide me along the way. It has been a 20 year journey of self discovery growth , and most of all becoming. My life’s trials and tribulations were the perfect training ground for what I had become, possible !
I will journey the globe inspiring hope, for those that have lost their way, raise funds and resources as an ambassador for Mental Health; all while playing one game in the National Hockey League becoming the NHL’s Oldest Rookie symbolising…